Seeking Never Never Land

It's officially 2011 and I'm about half-way through my Pre-Registration Training as a Pharmacist. I know it's been a long while since I last wrote but so much has happened. Graduating with a Masters in Pharmacy and entering the working world has not been an easy transition. It's ironic that when we were kids we all look forward to growing up, but once we get here...we try so hard to hold on to our childhood. Adulthood means independence and freedom, but also responsibility.

Life is all about balance.

Since I've stepped into the working world and pushed myself to try some new things, take up some hobbies I use to only dream of, I've made many new friends but lost an old beloved companion along the way. I've left the comfort of Academia where the only worry then was to hand in the next assignment on time and passing the next exam (truth be told we all hated it at the time) and now that we're working and moving along in our careers, I sometimes can't help but think..."Is this it?". Don't get me wrong, Pharmacy is not easy and a year to learn EVERYTHING medical or health related while juggling work is honestly not enough time. The career itself is very demanding, but I have no doubt that I can do it because I've come too far to fail now. Also, stereotypically, failure is not an option in my culture. Like all parents, mine has never given up on me and have made me believe that there is nothing I can't do if I set my mind to it. But it has come to a point where it's more about whether this is really what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. Deep down I feel that I am meant to accomplish so much more and that there is something big out there just waiting for me.

I've taken up dancing since I last wrote. Dance has always been something I loved but never took up professionally. When I'm in class, I feel free and far away from reality. There, I have found someone who truly loves what they do. My dance teacher. If only you could all see her when she dances. It is most mesmerizing and powerful! I've never met someone more meant for what they are doing. Just watching her dance you can physically see and feel her passion for her art and her career. She has found what she's meant to do in life. I'm not going to hide it or lie...I truly envy her.

One day I asked my best friend (you know who you are ;] ) how we would know what we were meant to be doing with our lives. Her answer was straight forward and simple, "We would just know, you can feel it".

Still seeking my very own fairy tale and happy ending.

-Tina xoxox

P.S.
I hope you have all the Apples you can eat where you are now. Till we meet again, I love you forever and always (My Angel, 2000-3rd December 2010).

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Life as a Pre-registration Pharmacist Student...

A month of pre-reg has flown by without warning and on a fortunate bank holiday weekend (3 cheers for the 3 day weekend!) I find myself back in one of my favourite spots watching the sun set, the clouds rolling by, the wind in my hair as music plays softly in the background. It's a place I come to to get away from the world. To clear my mind and just enjoy the moment.

So how is pre-reg? I am honestly really enjoying myself. I'm working with a great team and we share many laughs. Sadly it also means less me time and less friendly faces you have gotten use to seeing in your 4 years at University. But a new era calls for new traditions don't you agree? :) At the end of my Uni days, me and some close friends made a pact to meet at least once every week and recently a new tradition was established with a weekly stay over.

A year sounds like a long time...but when you're under a timer to complete and perfect all your knowledge and practice within a year...time is your enemy.


-Tina x
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Masters in Pharmacy

As of 1st of July 2010 ~6pm (GMT), I received official confirmation that I am now an official Graduate with a Masters in Pharmacy! 4 years have flown by so fast, often taking things for granted whilst we're enjoying ourselves...but once it comes to an end, you realise how much you would miss it.

We have come to the end of an era...now it's time to live another.

Congratulations to all the Graduates, Class of 2010, we did it!!!

-Tina xoxox

Long gone but not forgotten...

Can you believe it? It's been a year since the death of the King of Pop. Time flies by so fast when we're not paying attention. As a tribute to his death last year...I vowed that I would keep his music playing on my blog and the date I was meant to be attending his concert on my "Upcoming events..." list for a year.

- Michael Joseph Jackson -

A True Legend

Gone but Never Forgotten

Forever in our Hearts

-Tina xoxox

Mobile Blogging @ Heathrow Airport?

This is my 3rd attempt in trying to write this blogpost! So much has happened since my last post! I'm now officially done with my Masters Degree! Results aren't out till July 1st! But let's hope it's smooth sailing on clear water!

It's been an amazing 4 years! I know it has had it's ups and downs but we've all pulled through! So much has happened in 4 years which I can't describe in a blogpost but a picture is worth 1000 words right? Just looking at the numerous pictures I've taken over the years brings back so much memories!

After the Crystal Ball which played as a tribute to the end of an era...I've fallen into a complicated slump. One should feel happy that they are going home on a long carefree holiday to be with family and friends but instead my excitement is mixed with a sense of panic, abandonment and a feeling of loss. I feel that I'm leaving an important part of me behind. I'm saying goodbye to what took me 4 years to build...moving out of my comfort zone. I knew that it would all come to this...but somehow I still feel unprepared for the truth.

One of my closest and most trusted friends, K. W., said to me "Life goes on". I know we all have to eventually walk our separate ways...but somehow I don't feel ready. Would I ever be?

I would like to take this opportunity to thank my friends whom have made these 4 years unforgettable. Without you guys I would never had made it this far in life. Always being there through thick and thin. Loving you always!

Tina x


Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

The final mile...

Just over a month...the final mile...till I walk out those glass doors of the building that has sheltered me for the past 4 years, free.

Every year we come to this point...point of panic, stress and ultimate depression. Hoping it would all just blow over like a cool summer's breeze. Hoping that it would be the last. The last we would ever have to sit in silence while regurgitating all the knowledge we have forced ourselves to memorise. Now that it truly is going to be the last time...I don't want it to be. I'm not ready...I don't feel ready...not ready to take someone else's life into my own hands. As students we were allowed to make mistakes...but now we've played all our cards. No more mistakes.

It's funny how we all wish for certain things to happen...and when they do...we wish for the reverse. Wanting to grow up faster, wanting to finish our studies and move on into the working world...not wanting to grow old, not wanting to leave the comfort of student life and the freedom that comes with it.

Exams are just around the corner, yet the pile of assignments seem not to be lessening. I'm taking one step at a time. Maybe we should all stop thinking of it as "I only have a month left"...but instead think "I still have a month left".

It's time.

Tina xoxox

Am I at "The End"?

Has it really been nearly 4 years since I set foot in London? 4 years since I walked through those doors of my University? In just over 3 months...my academic/student life will all come to an end. I don't know how I feel about that. Am I happy that I no longer have to endure hour after hour of sitting in lecture theatres listening to the seemingly endless drone of lecturers (with the odd few that really capture your attention - physically and mentally ;D) as well as those life-threatening exams (stress, insomnia, mental breakdowns, panic attacks the whole "shebang")? But what about all the fun times? The hanging out with friends? Long talks on the phone? Is that all going to end too?

I know its been a while since I've written. What has happened since? Wow...so much I don't even know where to begin. Well...during the 1st semester of my 4th year (October 2009 ~ February 2010) I've chosen to carry out my research project as part of my Masters course. I've always had a preference/liking for Pharmaceutics (design of medicines) and was given the opportunity to work within that field. Amphotericin B, a commonly used antifungal drug due to its limited solubility is currently only able to be administered by injections. However, several side effects exist. To overcome this and targeting fungal infections of the lungs. I attempted to formulate Amphotericin B in such a way as to successfully administer the drug through aerosols into the deep lung with improved solubility and thus overall more advantageous as a form of drug therapy with greater drug bioavailability and decrease dose requirements with a potential decrease in drug toxicity. I was able to do so fairly successfully, however due to severe time limitations (my 3 months as compared to a PhD students' 3 years) I was unable to take my project to the extent that I would like to have. I was able to make several friends along the way, make many unforgettable memories and overall really enjoyed the experience. The experience did however pull me away from other activities, hence my lack of blogging activity.

So...what more does the future hold for me? We'll just have to wait and see don't we? :)