Seeking Never Never Land

It's officially 2011 and I'm about half-way through my Pre-Registration Training as a Pharmacist. I know it's been a long while since I last wrote but so much has happened. Graduating with a Masters in Pharmacy and entering the working world has not been an easy transition. It's ironic that when we were kids we all look forward to growing up, but once we get here...we try so hard to hold on to our childhood. Adulthood means independence and freedom, but also responsibility.

Life is all about balance.

Since I've stepped into the working world and pushed myself to try some new things, take up some hobbies I use to only dream of, I've made many new friends but lost an old beloved companion along the way. I've left the comfort of Academia where the only worry then was to hand in the next assignment on time and passing the next exam (truth be told we all hated it at the time) and now that we're working and moving along in our careers, I sometimes can't help but think..."Is this it?". Don't get me wrong, Pharmacy is not easy and a year to learn EVERYTHING medical or health related while juggling work is honestly not enough time. The career itself is very demanding, but I have no doubt that I can do it because I've come too far to fail now. Also, stereotypically, failure is not an option in my culture. Like all parents, mine has never given up on me and have made me believe that there is nothing I can't do if I set my mind to it. But it has come to a point where it's more about whether this is really what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. Deep down I feel that I am meant to accomplish so much more and that there is something big out there just waiting for me.

I've taken up dancing since I last wrote. Dance has always been something I loved but never took up professionally. When I'm in class, I feel free and far away from reality. There, I have found someone who truly loves what they do. My dance teacher. If only you could all see her when she dances. It is most mesmerizing and powerful! I've never met someone more meant for what they are doing. Just watching her dance you can physically see and feel her passion for her art and her career. She has found what she's meant to do in life. I'm not going to hide it or lie...I truly envy her.

One day I asked my best friend (you know who you are ;] ) how we would know what we were meant to be doing with our lives. Her answer was straight forward and simple, "We would just know, you can feel it".

Still seeking my very own fairy tale and happy ending.

-Tina xoxox

P.S.
I hope you have all the Apples you can eat where you are now. Till we meet again, I love you forever and always (My Angel, 2000-3rd December 2010).

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